What is it with little old men?

Two have tried to kiss me in the last two days. Sure it's a little cute and funny, but how do you respond to an octogenarian's inappropriate advances?

The first one was in for breathing problems. He was always up and about, with his heart rate skyrocketing and his O2 sat plummeting. I couldn't convince him to call me before getting up, so I put a lot of extension tubing together so he could get to the bathroom without taking the oxygen off.

Anyhoo, I'd finally gotten him settled in the chair and he was griping about how he couldn't figure out the TV, and really wanted to watch the baseball game. So I flipped through the channels, and found the appropriate game. He said "Yippee" like the cute grandfather in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and "You deserve a kiss for that! Just one on the cheek"

I politely declined.

The next one in question had just arrived from ED earlier that shift: an unnecessary admission for high blood sugars. Paranoid wife. At any rate, I was finishing up my end-of-shift things and stopped in the room for a last check before report.

I asked, "Do you need anything, or is there anything I can do for you before I go off shift in 15 minutes?"

"Well, I *usually* get a kiss goodnight before bed..."

I paused and said, "I'm pretty sure your wife won't be happy about you kissing a young nurse at the hospital."

"I won't tell if you won't!"



My main question is, "Does it ever actually work?" C'mon guys... give it a rest already.