We all hear about the statistics that 1 in 5 (possibly more) new nurses quit within their first year. It's understandable, really. It's a high stress job that no amount of preparation prepares you for. It's easy to get overwhelmed. And when your management seems to be working against you at every turn....
One of the new grads who started with me finally put in her two weeks' notice. She's a really smart cookie and definitely competent as a nurse. But the pressure got to her and she snapped.
She was working 32 hours a week, and trying to go to school to get her degree in biochemistry. Back in March she asked the managers if she could cut her hours down to 24 per week so she could sanely go to school. Biochemistry is *not* exactly a light subject. They said no, it wasn't possible. They needed everyone to work more hours since we're short on people.
So she slogged along for a couple more weeks and finally said screw it and put in her notice.
When I used to see her at work and give her report, I could see the heaviness in her eyes, and feel the stressed-out aura around her. I can feel the same thing in almost all the new grads.
But this week when she came in you could tell there was a difference. The look in her eyes was positively zen, and the aura was serene. Having the end in sight seems to have boosted her spirit remarkably.
And I am jealous.
I want to feel calm again.
I wish I had the balls to say, "Fuckit, this isn't worth it." I think a lot of us do.
I was talking to another one of the girls about it yesterday and she said that she is learning to just say "Whatever" when something bad comes up. We discussed that the only way to survive this job on this unit is to just give up. Sigh, shrug your shoulders, and just keep on plugging away. Stop hoping for anything better because it's just depressing when better never comes.
What a way to view your job.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....
I love my job. I love my job.